I've always been someone that does everything else for anyone else. I always think that if I was that person then I would be so grateful for the person helping me out, so I do it. And sometimes it wasn't what I should have done.
A couple weeks ago, a coworker had to go to a funeral for a family member. How could I say no? I was going to be late because I had school all day and agreed to go in after my classes. I just agreed - I didn't ask to see what my husband thought. Turns out, he had planned a surprise and I had ruined it. I still don't know what it is/was because he said he will just reschedule it. But when I got home I could see the sadness in his eyes. I had let him down.
Now with finals coming up this week, I realize that I've been too nice. I haven't gotten studying done and I still have an entire portfolio to start and complete by Wednesday, along with a Mass Communication Law class to study and know by heart. The best part {sarcasm} - I only have one day off until these finals are scheduled.
The reason I am so busy - work. It's not even a matter of school, it's all from work. Toyota Bountiful is great for doing homework, but only out of a text book. The majority of my work has to be done on Photoshop and InDesign so I'm out of luck there. Banana Republic on the other hand allows me zero time to do homework. So of course I feel bad that I had to say I couldn't go into work for the pregnant sick lady, but I needed time for myself.
It's one of the most difficult things I've done - tell people no. But I need it for my sanity and my marriage's sanity.
Which brings me to the reason why I started this particular post - I quit. I've actually been contemplating it for about a week, but it's difficult for me to work at Toyota Bountiful. When I was making pros and cons lists I felt incredibly selfish but I had to do it for myself. Don't get me wrong - I love the job, the environment, the people. The biggest and only real problem for me is the hours. I work Tuesday and Thursday from 5-9 after working 9-4 at Banana Republic. And I work Saturday's from 1-9 - every Saturday. I only see my husband about an hour before we go to bed and for maybe 30 minutes in the mornings. Something to add is that these are the two best jobs I've ever had, so it was a difficult to decide what to do.
Now that I've actually given my two weeks notice - I actually feel relieved. I'm going to have so much free-time and time that I can actually spend with my sweetheart! I'm not actually going to have a lot of free-time, but it feels like it. My husband is on board and told me that it's probably best that I only work at Banana Republic. So I'm glad that he agrees with me and, more importantly, supportive of my decision.
The main thing that I've learned is that the sting of letting someone down is temporary and even though you feel good when you help someone out - sometimes staying sane is more important.
Love, Natasha
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